1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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