And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
