Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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