He kissed a someone with a penis
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
