Whod you bang
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
