Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
