I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
