I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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