He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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