dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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