Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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