Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
