She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
wow bdsm is so cute
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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