Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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