I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
