i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
