i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
