Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I am midnight drunk by noon
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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