Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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