I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
