Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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