So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
