i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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