Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Farmville is her only friend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
