Buhtt sex?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
