Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
