You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
