mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
