Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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