Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
