3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
