He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
