Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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