Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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