I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
