Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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