so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
