so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
