I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
