The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
