Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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