My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
