You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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