Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's always time for handjobs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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