Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
