After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
