we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
