I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
