hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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