I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So much rum. So many feels.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
