She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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