Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
