You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
