UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
